Sunday, December 4, 2016

MY SOCIAL DIRECTOR.....ANITA MOORECOCK

  One thing I get asked a lot by friends, and have actually gotten two emails from you is how did I come to meet my social director Anita Moorecock. As one can see, she does have excellent fashion sense, she does work for me for Pete's sake, but I swear she still has that plastic look down.
Well, to tell you the truth, I met her right after my split from the ex. A few of the neighbor ladies from the guild took me to bingo night. With my racy and eyebrow raising lifestyle, I was hesitant to go, but of course just took my gin and bromide to calm my stomach with the sure to be seen tacky outfits I would see. Anywho....at the church the bingo was held at , Anita Moorecock was the church secretary. Well, it turns out I won her in the bingo game!!!! And it was an answer to my prayers. Unbeknownst to me though, the church was trying to unload the poor lass because, well, she enjoyed the men too much. Let's just say she was the original meter maid, men would meet her and have it made!!! So we had a lot in common, I mean between me and her and our sex lives, they could film a Wild Kingdom video.  But I have to be honest, she is a pretty face, but not the brightest bulb on Broadway. I mean, is she dumb! When I first hired her, she was late the first day because she got lost. I said "Where are you?" She said she was in the neighborhood at the corner of walk and don't walk.

One day she handed me a doctors appointment for September 34th. I said Ms.Moorecock, there are only 30 days in the month. It seems she wrote in the rest of the numbers on the blank boxes for each month, she thought they forget to print them!

She thought a flasher opened the coat to show the lining. One day I sent her down to Gertz's Department Store to pick up my packages. She was stranded on a escalator for 6 hours when the power went out! One afternoon at her desk, she was looking at the obits in the paper. She said, 'Isn't it amazing how people die in alphabetical order?

Ms.Moorecock is the only person I know who lost a $50 bet on an instant replay.  She read that 75% of accidents happen close to home. Now she wants to move.

I said oh, look at the poor dead bird. She looked up.

I'll never forget one day she squealed with excitement, because she won a trip around the world. But she turned it down. I asked why? She said, How will I get back? So she took second prize, a pet zebra. She named it Spot.

Oh God. And does she hate flying. I decided to take her on one trip and tricked her into flying. One the way there, the plane blew a engine. The captain said we'd be an hour late getting to our destination. Later a second engine blew. Again the captain said we'd now be three hours late. Then a third blew. The captain assured us it was a fine craft, not to worry, but we'd be even later. Ms.Moorecock says "Jesus Christ, one more engine blows and we'll be up here all night!"

She still can't figure out how the mall map knows "You are Here"

One of my neighbors  is a real bitch. And she happens to be deaf. I know she signs to me bad things. But I had to tell Ms.Moorecock to stop making crank phone calls to her. She wasted $40 at a pay phone.

And she can be cheap. Last year when I left for the Thanksgiving holiday she made this dinner for my stable of houseboys....
How can a stable of growing , muscular boys live on that? It was even worst this year. She bought 6 large meatballs, packed them together and stuck a feather in it!

On December 1 she starts speaking with a Jewish accent.

Being my social director she is also in charge of sending out my Christmas cards. I was very horrified, two years ago, when she mailed out ONE card and called it a chain letter!!!

Last year for Christmas she bought me a bottle of Evening in Newark. It was $2.98 a quart.

One morning I came down for breakfast and she was just sitting there sharing. No replies. I was "what are you doing?" "Not now", she said "The orange juice carton says concentrate." Eye roll.

But the kicker came another morning when she offered to take me and the houseboys for breakfast. For coffee and donuts. I hated it. But the houseboys loved it, they never gave blood before.

I can only wonder what she thinks when she looks in the mirror, which she does a lot.

Thank God she is pretty and fashionable.
People wonder why I then drink so much gin.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

FROM THE CANDY SHOP...BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND

This weekend from the Candy Shop, I'm opening up the special candy case and offering up for the holidays the ever steamy, ever creamy, ever finger licking good, wait, that's meat. Well it seems to fit this very sexy piece of meat...Willie Gomez, a talented dancer and  choreographer. And while on Instagram I discovered his fun Instagram and we have even made contact!!!!! He is ever personable. A good question would be,
Can we EVER have to much WILLIE GOMEZ!?!

Anybody else need a cigarette?

Friday, December 2, 2016

GET THE COCK-A-TAILS READY........

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!

What's on Tap?????
I'm ready to greet the weekend with a few and some Shinny Disco Balls.....

Lets dance our asses off darlings with this classic!

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

GOODBYE TO AUTUMN

It seems things around here are finally getting back to normal, and I'm getting time to play and get caught up with my blog reading and making my rounds. We had been short a team member, and heading into the holidays IS NOT a good time to be short one. On top of that, our Creative Director was also wanting me to assist with photo shots for our company's Instagram. I must admit, it was fun, but meant twice weekly trips to New York City. Of course Ms.Moorecock suggested I get me an Instagram. I was like huh, no. So of course, she created one for me and posts my pictures on there for me. Hell, it is what I pay her for besides social directing my train wreaks!!!! Even though today is the last day of November, to me, the autumn is officially ended. When December rolls in, and with the Christmas season, it just feels more winter to me. But I had photos of my fall season I never got around to posting......and what a beautiful fall it was!

Fonthill Castle in Doylestown

Iron Hill Covered Bridge, one of 6 in Bucks County. This one is right up the road from the Casa.
Lake Galena at Peace Valley Park, about 5 minutes from the Casa. Makes for a nice run in the evening...at least till it gets too cold.
The very large maple outside my windows, turns brilliant red and orange, always cast this very cool hue over the living room. This is also after all the painting and over hauls were done this summer. I had the walls done over in a light beige suede finish.

Candle light by night most nights. Some nights you'd think I was having a séance. Upwards of 20 candles lit...besides myself.

This past summer the boudoir got completely overhauled. It went from dark chocolate walls and earth tones, to this dark Newport Blue with accents of navy and creams.
Buster Bolfig Borghese seemed to approve of the new boudoir.

The Mother's Ridgeback Lilith.........keeping watch on Buster.

Woods at the property edge. The fox are usually seen here.

Random street in Doylestown

Sitting a spell in deeeeeeep leaves in my Jack's

Rittenhouse Square in Philadelphia

The seasonal apothecaries.

My usual suspects visited all autumn and now the junco's have returned. I'm getting eaten out of house and home again.
Redheaded Woodpecker

A Nuthatch

Tufted Titmouse

Bonnie and Clyde.

My birthday saw the return of my autumn/winter cock-a-tail....the Expresso Martini at the Lambertville House. YUMMMMMMMM

One weekend at Daddy Warbucks. I just had to kick up my gams!

So long Autumn....it was nice having you.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

PORTRAIT OF A QUEEN

If there is one thing a enjoy.....it's looking at pictures of queens, and here is another segment from the gallery......
A Rose Is But a Rose- Alyssa Edwards

Head of Eden- Miriam Webster

Day at The Opera- Heklina

Birds Of A Feather- Nina Flowers & Kim Chi

Got Milk?- Amanda Lepore

What Are You Looking At?- Pandora Mystery

Marvels Next Villainess?-- Maddelynn Hatter

Dream Girl- Mayhem Miller

Head of Many Colors- Yet to be used Mistress wigs!

Monday, November 28, 2016

MONDAY MOMENTS

I can't believe another weekend has flown by. And here it is Monday again.....

Upon getting back from the holiday, I attended a great concert yesterday at the Kimmel Center to hear a lovely Beethoven and Mozart  concert which was a phenomenal way for the weekend to end. Upon getting home last night I caught a glimpse of my three fox out playing in the courtyard, chasing each other. They are loving this colder weather. They sure are beautiful animals and so wily. You know, if they could be pets, I'd have at least four in bed with me to keep me warm!!!! So how about some warm and fuzzy this Monday........

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